Obese and diagnosed with endometriosis *2-19-19*
Feb 19, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_78iLMazt2Q

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[Applause]
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good morning oh my gosh welcome to
Monday it is 34 degrees I am freezing I
didn't think I was gonna need my jacket
holy cow I'm wrong let's just say I am
wrong I walked out of the house without
my glasses but it's okay we're going to
make this work because s4 is in the
house sleeping I don't want her to hear
me come back in and get my glasses
because if that's the case then she's
gonna flip when I go to leave again so
we're gonna be without my glasses which
it's totally okay and so like I can't
see it's just preference ly I like my
glasses I can't see close up we'll give
you that one but far away I'm okay so
driving is alright I am on my way right
now I'm letting my car warm up just a
little bit it is so cold but I am on my
way out the door to counseling so this
is a great start to a wonderful Monday
and then after that at 3:30 I have my
doctor's appointment so got a little few
things to do today but it's all good
it is ow good anyways I am I will check
in with you guys in a little bit I am
going to actually call my pharmacy
really quick and see if my meds are
being ready to be picked up yet but goes
on my medicines and then I will check it
with you guys either before I go into
counseling or right when I get out
okay so there was a car it was white and
it was in a Kia I believe and they were
waving at me
so hello I'm as you guys know now that I
have let you guys know I don't have my
glasses on today seen too too far away
it doesn't work that well but I did see
you and hello let me know who you are so
I can officially say hello and you know
I don't look like a deer in headlights
because I was just like are they waving
at me because they need to get over are
they way we not mean to say hello I
wasn't sure but I think it was a hello
wave I don't think it wasn't trying to
get over wait so anyways whomever you
were I'm thinking you probably watched
my channel so if you do hello let me
know who you are so I can officially say
hello oh it is so cold I am just getting
out of town Selene let me just you guys
here um yeah
it is amazing how's it going up in
temperature at all
let's see here what can I do to make it
warmer oh um anywho counselling went
fantastic it went really really good we
talked about relationships and you know
the foundations for relationships and
the healthy boundaries and things that
you know go along with having one and
you know it's it's so amazing just to
hear some of the things that she says to
me it's just like you know it it
clarifies and it solidifies some of my
own feelings that you know I feel like I
have so anyways we will talk more about
that I am going to well I'm going to
upload my video really quick because I
already edited it edited it so I'm gonna
upload my video while I'm a driving home
I need to go home and get ready for my
doctor's appointment and then I will
check in with you guys when I'm on my
way okay you guys I am just getting out
of counseling
gosh it was crazy I where I have to walk
up to get into my counseling appointment
someone assuming homeless because
otherwise it wouldn't be there they left
all of their like garbage and baggage
and carts and everything out and I you
know I feel so bad because it's cold I
mean it is ice-cold so I could not
imagine being in their shoes but the
same time like my counselor said she's
gonna have to probably make some calls
here soon because it's getting pretty
bad I guess over there what the homeless
leaving their stuff all over the place
in front of their building and that's
just you can't do that
so it was like trampling over garbage
I'm like oh this is great but it's just
life is life is not fair sometimes for
the ones struggling
anyways counseling went really really
really good we talked about the dynamics
of relationships and the foundation of
relationships and boundaries
and how I you know how I want
relationships to be and it was a really
good conversation because you know I I
have been dealing with you know like for
instance with my mom you know sometimes
with my mom it's really hard because I
want to share so much with her but
sometimes I feel like maybe she's just
not available emotionally like I'm
looking for her to be and that's nothing
to you know throw shame on her or
anything like that but it's the truth
you know and sometimes sometimes it's
something that I really desire but it's
just not there but being able to build a
relationship with somebody and having a
strong healthy foundation and boundaries
is so much something that I am desiring
and it's so nice because I have a
relationship that I'm break-in Deline
and it's it's I see it being a very
beautiful relationship
and so I'm really truly excited to start
this relationship again and and I'm such
in a different place in my life I am
such a different person in general than
what this person remembers you know I'm
not the same and so it's definitely
gonna be something different for
relationships with the person that I am
today rather than the person I was a
year and a half ago or even two but
anyways I am almost home actually I'm
gonna go home take a shot up eat some
breakfast I'm really hungry I left I
didn't even drink anything I ain't
taking my medicine this morning so I
need to go home take my meds
take my eat some breakfast take my meds
and then take a shower and get ready for
my doctor's appointment so I am gonna go
and do all of that but when I am on my
way to my doctor's appointment
I will check in with you guys and we
will see where we are at at that point
okay everyone I am on my way to the
doctor's
it's got freshly showered do you ever
have that fear like okay man if you
sorry
I know this is probably not the
conversation you all want to hear about
so if you're a man you might want to
just check out right here for a second
anyways as a woman do you ever have
those moments where
oh I do have one more let's smudge on my
glasses starting me nuts wipers anyways
do you ever have those moments where
it's like you have a female doctor
appointment and you shower and you
shower and you scrub and you shower
because you're just you know that you
know what's ahead of you
that's my jiff for the day keep clean
women keep clean no no I just I that is
like I have a family member that works
in the medical field and she works in
the area where women go get checked and
she has told some gruesome stories so
now because of that things
I will look for absolutely every clue
that they think that I stink even though
I know I don't but it's just that fear
you know all right well I am on my way
to the doors and from there
I will check in with you guys I'll let
you guys know what's going on I'm just
so nervous I hate doctors and I hate
this kind of a doctor appointment so it
doesn't make any better for the what do
you want to call it the the nerve bugs
that are biting me right now but I will
definitely check it with you guys here
in a little bit let you know what's
going on most likely I mean even if
there is any testing being done or
anything of course I'm probably not
going to get any responses or like you
know I'm not going to get any results
today Oh clearly so I will have to do
I'll check in with you guys after my
appointment though I'll let you guys
know what he says but most likely we'll
have to wait for results to come in for
any of the testing that he will do from
there so anyways I will check in with
you guys in a little bit
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let's watch you leave from Ali's lots
and now we're heading home go pick up
Jeremiah drop off the car and then we're
gonna go and have Mexican food because I
am starving I have just yeah today's
doctors women did not go the way that I
was thinking it was gonna go so there is
a lot of things that me and all we have
to talk about decisions to make and you
know I'm gonna take you guys along right
along with me I did not record well in
the doctor's office because I was
advised by my doctor which I did not
know technically it's against the law
for anybody to record when they're in
the doctors room they we could actually
cause the doctors to lose their jobs so
well he told me that I was like oh my
god no she'll shut my phone off because
I would never want to jeopardize him
losing his job I love my doctor why
no we're gonna go and get Mexican food
we're gonna go eat baked beans and
sausage ups so anyway
I don't see what you're getting you guys
are gonna know what this is
get out of here thing is shocking me all
over the place
so Mouse TV you guys are gonna know what
I'm what I'm doing but this is an inside
joke for the ones that have been on my
channel for you haven't had to be on my
channel for very long but you've had to
at least to know what this joke is about
you're going to have to at least go back
and watch this last live that I did the
Valentine's chitchat I think there I
talk about it but if you're a longtime
subscriber of mine you're I'm gonna know
what this joke entitles so anybody that
has been following me for a while hard
watch that live what is this you guys oh
you're not a Fupa
you're a loofah loofah loofah not a Fupa
not a Foofa loofah that is a loofah not
a Fupa loofah is going to make a mark
where's loofah need to stay she needs to
find a home somewhere cuz she's a
statement you guys where do I put her
I'll put her right here for now but we
will find a home for her because she
belongs in our space
of talking because it's all about loofah
not Fupa anyways yes I got a it was like
a shampoo kit or something like that and
this little miniature loofah was
included in my little package and I was
like oh my goodness this this is it this
is this this is it
we got me a loofah not a Fupa so that's
why I said loofah girl is going to she's
gonna stay here for now but I'm going to
hang her up I think she belongs on the
wall well summer where she can be seen
because she is a true statement of Amy's
life journey channel ah alright you guys
let's get on to our reading for that
night okay
daddy's out there so okay so I'm
assuming she's probably gonna come in
here screaming because that's that's my
daughter oh yeah okay January 19th today
I choose not to dwell on all the ways it
could go wrong how the money isn't there
how friends won't support me how I might
look silly if my ambitions are God
approved I cannot fail oh that was a
punch in the gut Wow I really want to
read that one again today I choose not
to dwell on all the things that could go
wrong how the money isn't there how
friends won't support me how I might
look silly if my ambitions are God
approved I cannot fail
Wow Wow Wow wha
is all I can say because after today
with my doctor's appointment that I was
sharing with you guys earlier and you
know I think that that this book is just
everything I needed more like everything
I need good evening everybody
welcome to trying to set this up the
best I can
um good evening and welcome to Monday
evening although I am making this on
Tuesday morning because let's just say
amy has had a really rough rough rough
evening into night um I I shared this
with you guys earlier but I I wasn't in
a position yet mentally to be able to
really talk about it
so I'm remaking this part because I
wanted to bring it to your guys's
attention and share with you where I'm
at right now I think for the sake of you
guys to understand just to understand
where I'm coming from and things like
that but um so yesterday I went to the
doctors as most know that I was I had an
appointment I haven't really talked
about why I was going to the doctors I
didn't talk about you know what was
leading up to the reason to make the
doctor's appointment just cuz I didn't
want to mislead or you know I'm one of
those that believe
and you don't talk about a situation
until you have full facts of knowing
what's going on just because you know so
much can come out of an appointment that
you totally didn't think or see coming
which is kind of what happened in my my
case in a way in a way so I am
definitely not going to apologize for
the video that and for the conversation
I'm about to have because I think
apologizing means that you're ashamed of
what you're you know didn't talk about
and I'm not at all ashamed about my my
conversation that I'm gonna have with
you guys I know that there are some men
on my channel so fYI men this is a TMI
video piece not video but TMI piece of
my day but it's all things that women
sometimes face and so I definitely want
to share my my journey my you know this
is my journey so anyways I just want to
give you guys in a little bit you know a
thing that you know there is gonna be
some TMI talk on here so if you got
little kiddos you might not want them to
watch this part just because there are
some things that are talked about that
may not be for their ears so anywho
along with all of that disclosure so
what led me up to going to the doctor's
yesterday was I started my menstrual
cycles when I was 11 years old and I've
always had pretty heavy cycles like it's
never been it's never been something new
to me like I've always always had heavy
cycles I never as far as I can remember
I don't remember ever having like actual
cramps with my cycle I might have a type
of a thing but nothing like severe and
so anyways
about the age of 23 I noticed that my
cycles started to like change and when I
say change I would like skip a month all
together with my cycle and then other
times I would have like a bleeding
session where I would bleed for multiple
weeks before it would stop I ended up
having to DNC's in the process of that
to help clean out the the lining of my
uterine wall too because what happens is
is after so long with this can grow like
like a lot thicker and so my body
constantly will continue to bleed
because it thinks that it needs to
continue to shed all this tissue but the
tissues not getting broken up and coming
out which is what your period is so I
had to go through two DNC's for my
cycles being where they would not stop I
had another DNC and that was when I had
my little boy at 19 weeks gestation I
didn't pass the placenta so they had to
go up inside and remove the placenta and
not only just remove the placenta but
clean out the area again because there
was quite a bit of erosion of tissue so
fast 14 to 23 my cycles were starting to
mess up a little bit and my cycles were
still very very heavy after having each
of my D and C's though I would have
about six months of war my periods were
normal they would come you know
clockwork you know I would start I would
stop they would days which when I
started my period when I was 11 it went
for exactly seven days start to end
I always blind seven days like that was
just that was the key number for me but
then when I would have my DNC's I would
have my periods would last about five
days and they weren't really really
heavy but they were normal periods I
guess you would consider a normal period
I didn't know what
normal period was because what I had and
what I experienced was normal for me
so anyways then I I'm gonna say about
20-25 I had a period that lasted seven
months it did not stop like I bled seven
months you would think oh my god did you
fall over dead or were you anemic
absolutely not
crazy as it sounds I never became a mean
anemic I still to this day besides one
episode where they said that I had a
little bit of anemic see like anemic I
was a little bit anemic and that was
just a few months ago but they've
rechecked me since then and I'm totally
fine um but you would think was as the
periods that I had you would think that
I'd have like no blood left in my body
um anyways so here you go princess um so
anyways then I got pregnant with Omar
and Esther on my periods were I'm well
with Omar they became pretty normal
because I was taking okay when I got
pregnant with Lego clearly my children
are in the room right now um when I got
pregnant with him my periods were pretty
onset because I was taking you know the
hormonal pills plus I was taking clomid
so they were pretty normal at that
moment because of what I was doing to
get pregnant and then after I had him my
periods were normal and then well they
weren't normal I only had one period
between getting pregnant with him or
having him and getting pregnant with us
or I only had one cycle but after I had
s-sarah my cycles were totally normal
and they were normal for about I'll say
about two years but the last year I've
noticed that the heaviness has come back
really severe the cramping has become
really different here honey
the cramping has come back a lot more
like heavy like the it's a lot worse
and it doesn't always have to be on my
period that I'm having the cramping but
it is definitely there
big time while I'm my body's leading up
to starting a cycle to when I have the
actual cycle I have a lot of severe pain
however I do have a high tolerance in
pain so anyways I I have been
experiencing a lot more pain and then
this last cycle that I had I actually
like spotted for three days prior to me
even starting my period then all of a
sudden I started and it was like it was
back to square one when I would like
hemorrhage bleed I mean it was bad and I
did that for three days and I don't know
if any of you guys noticed but my my
energy level went down my color my skin
went down just everything kind of like
right out from underneath my feet but I
just you know I kept just ignoring it
and trying to just handle what I could
but you know there's a point where you
can only ignore something so much before
all the red flags are there the same Amy
you need to go and get some help you
need to go and talk to your doctor you
need to figure this out
plus with all the reoccurring UTIs you
know there's something up there's
something off and we need to figure it
out so I went ahead and that's when I
made a doctor's appointment with my my
gynecologist
and he's my gynecologist that was my
gyno when I was pregnant with Omar and
then when I got pregnant with SR I had a
different doctor but it's because our
medical changed but he's been my doctor
like through Omar and then he's been my
doctor after I had s her because he
ended up switching facilities and going
to the office where I'm at now so I was
able to go right back to him as a
patient so anyways I made an appointment
went in to talk to him yesterday and we
discussed everything I've been
and again he's been my gynecologist for
quite a few years so he does know my
history plus you know he helped deliver
Omar with c-sections so he's been in my
uterine cavity as you could say I mean
he even said yesterday well it kind of
it's nice but you know we had the luxury
of being able to be inside your actual
body at one point like thanks but
talking to him explaining everything
I've been going through and him hearing
me out a hundred percent you know he
discussed where we could go and do lipo
scalp or surgery he would take some
biopsy of my uterine area and we would
get it tested to see if I am suffering
within Demetrios as' however i've never
really heard the word I've heard it once
or twice but I've never paid any
attention to it because why am I gonna
pay it to do something that I don't
suffer right so um he said but you know
listening to everything that you're
talking about I you know I really am
feeling this as the situation I feel
like this is what you are dealing with
is you are dealing with endometriosis
and he said you know I really don't want
to have to do a surgery on you you know
cuz surgeries hold risks which okay I
completely get it so my question was to
him okay well what are the what are what
are the things that you guys do to treat
this like is it curable is it you know
can we get it taken care of and so this
is the part where just kind of settled
into me where I just felt like my whole
life was hitting a dead-end Road I guess
you would say so he explained that no
there is no cure for endometriosis it is
what it is like you cannot cure yourself
from endometriosis however you can do
things to help slow down the process
and you know help with like the pain and
the symptoms and things like that but
you can never 100% get away from having
endometriosis once you have it you can
go in and you can have all the lesions
you know burned off but like he said you
never can see all the microscopic areas
where the lesions are setting and
they're just ready to fester themselves
whenever they want to come out so if
there's really not a cure for it however
I thought endometriosis was cancer I
thought oh my god I'm gonna die all
these fears come again I don't know
anything about any meat roses I don't
I've heard the word a few times but I've
never actually ever did research on
myself or for myself because it's not
something that I ever struggled with or
it was suffering with so he we talked
about the different the different
management's that we can do to help you
know with this and the therapies that we
can do and one would be oral birth
control which he really didn't want to
do because one you know he he sees that
you know I'm losing weight I'm working
on my weight birth control causes you to
gain weight it also causes mood swings
so you're you know you're kind of
dealing with that where it could add
extra you know issues with your moods
and then you've got a pedestrian shot
that you could have which again I
believe is like a birth control
stimulant same kind of things he really
doesn't want to put that in my body
they've got the the one that they can
implant in your arm but again it's a
birth control the next one that they do
have is the Mirena that they could put
up inside my cervix it is a birth
control but it is a different type of
birth control so it doesn't go
throughout my entire body as of the oral
the shot or the arm implantation those
would go through my whole body this one
goes directly it stays in its own area
where it's been put
um now with having a marina put in it's
not a permanent but it is kind of more
of a a commitment therapy meaning you
know they put it up there it's not gonna
come you know you're not just gonna have
it taken out every other week you know
what I'm saying like it's it's put in
there and it stays in there for a
certain amount of time um so then we
have the whole talk about okay well I'm
gonna be 38 this year and if I have the
marina put in where it's a five year
marina that's gonna put me into my 40s
and then we've got the whole talk about
you know where do we go with you know
childbearing you know because right now
I'm I'm getting up there in age and I
understand a lot of people are thinking
oh you're not but yes for me I am I you
know one thing that I've always told
myself is I didn't want to get you know
get pregnant and have more babies after
40 that was my biggest thing that me and
Ollie had talked about before we even
got married was that you know 40 was a
cutoff stage for me
I think that's a great cut off stage for
my personal being not talking for
anybody else you know what everybody has
their I mean everybody's journey on this
is totally different I'm finding that
out that every woman deals with it
completely different but with having
this talk with my doctor you know we
talked about all the things you know
from just everything you know that has
dealt with from the time of getting
pregnant with Omar to having Omar to
getting pregnant with Malik previously
having Premal like getting pregnant with
Ezra having Ezra Ezra I was on I can't
think of the name of the shop but it was
a shot to sub-state my pregnancy
basically because both my previous
pregnancies before her
they ended in premature labor
and we don't know why that is we
understand if my body just if my body
doesn't control that you know like some
women their bodies just aren't made to
carry a complete full-term pregnancy
without the help of that hormone so I
think that that's where they tried that
with s ara and it worked I carried her
all the way to 38 weeks we stopped my
shots at 36 weeks and I carried her 2
weeks pretty longer and she was a
full-term baby but if we didn't have
that shot what if I carried her to
full-term we don't know and we would
never know because we chose to do the
shots just a lot of like decision-making
that we have to come together on and
figure out you know what is going to be
the best thing but I also don't want to
leave this as something where we don't
take care of it you know because if you
don't take care of it it will get worse
I do have an appointment on Monday this
coming Monday the 25th I have an
appointment and we're gonna do a
ultrasound and that will check my
ovaries and my uterus to check for any
type of I don't know exactly what
they're looking for to be honest um I
don't think that that you can see
endometriosis with ultrasound I do know
that he was talking about checking my
fallopian not my fallopian tubes but my
ovaries to make sure that I don't have
like a nice is sitting on him which I've
been told in the past that I had says
you know and that they were getting
ready to rupture and things like that so
I know that that is something that I
have dealt with in the past but they've
all pretty much taken care of themselves
I've never had to go in for like surgery
for any of them um it's just very scary
for the unknown I think that that is the
biggest thing and having that talk with
your doctor about you know are you gonna
continue to have more babies are are
you you know are we done you know you
never think about that conversation as
being a serious conversation into the
service conversation gets put on your
plate to have and so yeah just yesterday
you know a lot needed to be processed
and you know I want to share this with
you guys because this is what I'm going
through right now and you guys know that
I am very honest with you and I tell you
guys everything especially when it comes
to medical stuff I want to be as most
transparent as possible because I don't
want people to think that they're alone
if they're dealing with the same things
I am just like I would hope that people
might share their stories with me it's
all such a scary territory for me and I
know for many women so this is something
we're all gonna go through together
because this is what I'm going through I
was going to record my doctor's
appointment yesterday but he told me he
cannot record because he has to get okay
from the top board of his employer and I
totally understand that I did not know
that it's actually against the law to
record your doctor and I did not know
that they could actually lose their job
if you were to record them and it'd be
put on any type of platform where
somebody would recognize them so yeah I
was just like oh my god no I don't think
don't want you to lose your job yep
you're not going over um so anyways you
know it all in all I know that me and
ollie will make it through this and I
just I just really want you guys to know
that you guys are constantly what gets
me through all of these things and I
thank you so much for all of my support
that you guys have given me and I know
that so many of you guys are going to
have amazing words of encouragement
through this entire process and I know
that we will make this through its
a very scary conversation to have in a
very scary decision that we have to make
at a timely manner because I have about
a month before I have to go and have
this put in if that's what we're
choosing to do or whatever we're
choosing to do so anyways I am going to
do my closing here with my other clip
from last night but I just wanted to
fill you guys in with where I am
mentally and emotionally because I just
wanted to to let you guys know that I
did make a video but it was just not the
video I wanted to let you guys in on
what was going on
so anyways here is my in beans anyways I
hope everybody has a wonderful rest of
your evening and I will check in with
you guys tomorrow bright and shiny in
the morning until then sweet dreams bye
bye
